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heartbreak and renewal

Sunday, May 30th, 2010 by

People warned us about this.  Oh, they didn’t say “prepare to have your heart broken,” they said “we had trouble finding the right piece of land.”  They told us about architectural review committees on which one member decided the slant of their proposed roof wasn’t right, or land deals all but decided when something legal fell through, but they never talked about the emotion.

It’s an emotional thing, building your own home.

You’ve decided nothing else out there really fits; you have, as a couple (assuming you’re part of a couple), determined that your life together will fit best in something custom, rather than an off-the-rack set of outerwear.

And as you look for the perfect site for this custom suit, you form a picture in your mind of how your refuge will look.

Mine was a shade-dappled sunny place, tall trees all around for peace and privacy.  A stream nearby would be nice, with all that happy burbling.  Birds would sing in the tall trees’ shade; we’d hear the leaves rustle, too, and no neighbors would be able to look in our windows.

Thought we’d found it–it seemed we had–but, like nearly every other custom-building couple we talked to, we had our hearts broken by technicalities.  An easement, an odd boundary.  A seller who was ambivalent and, finally, threw up too many roadblocks for us to believe our peaceful place would stay that way.  Didn’t like the windows, or the number of them, or how they were placed.  Not too sure about that roof.

To be honest, I didn’t think it had affected me that much until the other things we’re dealing with began to seem like bigger problems than they really are.

But I woke up this morning with a very old song in my head, and realized I was sad about losing that peaceful green place.

From Three Dog Night’s “In the Country:”

Before the breathin’ air is gone, before the sun is just a bright spot in the nighttime:

Out where the rivers like to run I stand alone, and take back something worth remembering.

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2 Responses to “heartbreak and renewal”

  1. Lin Teichman says:


    But perhaps something better is in store.

  2. June Walters says:

    Having experienced your disappointment (in a round-about manner) when our son and his wife were looking for a piece of God’s green earth on which to build their modern dream home I can only assure you it will happen for you and when does the frustrations associated with this endeavor will melt away. Good luck
    and welcome to North Carolina.

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